A mix

I know everyone has been compared to their parents before. Almost everyone I've met told me I look like my dad, but when they see my sisters (whom are female versions of my father! ) they say we don't look alike. So, I was confused. Reeaally confused. 

Have you ever asked yourself, "Why do I look like my dad", "Why do I look like my mom" or "Why don't I look like any of them?".Before, I keep on getting confused whom I look alike. My mom? or my dad? But after a few years, I know realized I'm a mix  of both of them. Not just outside, but inside as well. My sisters look like my dad, but they sometimes act like my dad, but usually like my mom. 

While I, on the other hand am different. I'm still a mix

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My dad: Used to be part of the student council. He definitely likes to eat. Really likes math. He used to play the piano. He likes reading. Knows how to cook. Super-duper smart! Scared of my mom. friendly and kind.

My mom: She was a dancer.  She also was a singer. Likes to draw. Really likes Science. Sucks at math. Has a bad temper. A fighter (not literally, of course). Has a strong personality. Just like my dad, she likes reading too.

My sisy, francine: Uber kind. Likes music. really smart. likes to cook. Likes science. Plays the piano. dreams of seeing a cow.Likes to read. Dances like a super-star. A good leader.

Me: Likes to read. Knows how to sing and draw. Sucks at math.  I'm a good leader. Likes to eat. Addicted to harry potter. plays the piano and the guitar. Currently in love with bacon.

Little sisy, faith: Has a bad temper. likes science, plays the piano and organ. A fighter, just like my mom. Has a strong personality. smart in everything. (seriously. I'm not kidding) a good leader too.

The formula of my family:

a super-duper smart dad + a really smokin' hot & talented mother = a really cool and awesome sisy who likes music + a weird sisy who is now in love with bacon + a strong and talented younger sisy.

They have Courage, While I have Cowardice

We all think that at some point in our lives, we think that it was perfect, that we wish nothing could change for we were already living "the dream" somehow. (I can't believe I'm admitting this)I even thought my life was a fantasy, a dream!


Boy, was I wrong!


We all think that what we see is the truth. But once we see the deeper meaning in it, we see it's horrible ugliness, its falsity, and injustice.


 How? There are people who can make us think what we see is something pretty, but in reality, it's ugly. They make us see useless things, but actually, they're beautiful. We can't trust what we see anymore, for we don't know which is which. It scares me to not trust what I see, for  it makes us highly vulnerable. But just like I said, we don't know what to trust anymore. People nowadays are able to twist our minds, in making us believe in all the lies that they think is right and covering up the truth to make everything all right for now.  They thought that they can hide and mask the truth.


But. . . boy, were they wrong. They didn't know that the truth was like a bomb. It will force it's way out and  it'll hurt like hell.


But then, there are people, who somehow manages to save the day.
I know some can't see them because of the illusion of  the lies others have created to make us see them as different, and just plain wrong. But think deeper, see clearer, and listen harder. They are the real heroes. They may seem sad and lonely. . . and weird, but they make us see what needs to change and whats right. they make us see our mistakes, even though it hurts, so that we can change and correct ourselves.. They are not afraid of facing the truth. (Unlike me, I try to run away.)


I, too, want to be a hero. I want to be like them. But we are different. They have courage, While I have cowardice.

I wish. . .

Have you ever wished that you were somebody else? You know, someone special?


Well If you haven't, I have. Almost every bloody day! I've read about kids, between ages 14 to 16 who save the world, who can fly who can fight. I wish I was one of them. Like Percy for example from the PJO and the Olympians series. . . he thought he was an abnormal teen who never belonged, but at the end of his journey he was able to save the world. Like the flock from the  Maximum ride novels. They were hurt, abused and in pain yet they were able to save mankind. Even though I didn't feel the tragedies that they felt, Still, I wish to be like them. Why, you ask? because, they had the courage to be brave to stand up to their enemies despite the tragedies that they faced.


Have you ever wished that you could do something different? Something entirely unique that could change the world? I have. . . but God didn't give me the power to do so. That would totally be wrong. I wish i could have been one of those kids, who experienced hurt, yet they stand tall because they learned to be strong. No, not like me who just sits around at home sleeping. and this scares me. Why? because I know time will come, I will face problems that might be my downfall and if I do fall. . . I might not get up.


 But the wish, i want to be granted the most is the wish that I just want to be special. Not that special that I just mentioned, but to feel special just once. 

don't compare

Today, I received my report card.


And to be honest. . .  I was really really disappointed in myself. I mean, I could have done better! But No.. I had to be so lazy to study or do something worthwhile (other than read fanfics, of course). So now my grades are not that high, but not that low. I'm just right in the middle. Why am I disappointed, you ask? I'ts because, compared to my grades last year, my grades now were low. I haven't given my all this quarter. So now I would do my best this time, so that my grades could get higher. 


It also sucks when your parents compare you to other people's kids as well. And because of that  I've always compared myself to my sisters. Both of them were really smart compared to me. Almost all of their grades are between the average of 87-93 while mine are. . . just okay. But then I noticed they were better at some stuff that I can't do, and I was better at other things that they can't do.So, as I got older I've learned not to compare myself to them anymore. I realized that everyone has their own strengths and their fatal flaws. 

matching jack

Today, I watched a movie called Matching Jack. . . . And it was BLOODY BRILLIANT. It made me laugh and cry at the same time.


It was about this boy who had leukemia. He was hospitalized and met his best friend, Finn, who also had leukemia. The boys were oblivious to the world around them as both of their parents try to find a match to cure them. But  it doesn't end there only. there would be loads of series of events that would make your heart stop. 


Because of this movie, it, made me realize that in this world of ours,we keep on fighting with each other when we need to defeat this ensuing battle against a powerful enemy called. . . Leukemia.

Bummer

What a Bummer of a day.


I hate it sometimes, when I need to do something but can't because of lack of inspiration.
For example: here I am, sitting in front of my laptop trying to write a poem for my project. . . but I don't have any inspiration to do it. So  I am now waiting for something weird to happen to help me start to think outside of the box. I want this poem to be creative but I don't have any inspiration to write, right now. So. . .  I'll just keep on waiting.


It's better to wait rather than to force it out of me.

I have a HUGE problem

This huge problem of mine started when I saw my reflection this morning. It all started like this:


I woke up feeling the same as usual. I did not realize that my day would be ruined because of this problem. I took my towel and headed for the shower. that's when I saw this HUGE problem. . . . on my face. 
and that problem was a pimple. yes, a pimple. Who wouldn't be bummed when they have zit right in the middle of their face?! 
But anyway, all I have to do now is wait because I know  it would go away. 

quizzes

They make life sooo much difficult. seriously.


Everything was going smoothly that day. I woke up , feeling cheerful as always, and I was sure I did all of my homework so I wasn't worried too much. But when I arrived at school, my day came rushing down the drain. Seriously. I haven't even sat down on my seat, a classmate of mine said "Did you know we have a quiz in science?". I was like "WHAT?!" Of course. . .  I was dumbfounded.


I'm not that type of person who is naturally smart in science so what I did was, I planned to study later that Lunch. I asked them, what's the topic for the quiz? most of them answered with a shrug but some of them answer that the last lesson would be the quiz. So obviously, I studied the last lesson. Later when we had our quiz, none of the topics I had studied popped out.
I wasn't even surprised. It seems that whenever I try to do my best, it's not enough. . . . which is super duper sad.

We Keep On Drowning

Fantasy. Reality.

Both are different indeed. Fantasy, makes our life more colorful, more creative, but masks the horrible truth of our reality. Just like me, I keep on drowning myself in fantasies, but I know reality's just waiting for me.

 On the other hand, Reality HURTS. Yes, people, it does hurt. A lot.  In reality, we feel hope, sadness & pain, and the sad part is, we can't stop ourselves from feeling it. But that's what fantasies are for. . . . they mask the pain, that sadness that we feel.

I know a girl who really pointed out the difference of fantasies from reality. 

here's her story.

After her mother's death, she drowned herself in fantasies, trying to make the pain go away. and miraculously. . . . it did, but not for long. She kept on reading, books about perfect families. which in reality, hers is shattered. She was so drowned in her fantasies, that she didn't see another tragedy coming. Her father died. she was so distraught because, she didn't spend enough time with her father. So from then on she swore that she wouldn't drown herself in fantasies anymore. She learned that no matter how we try to delay reality,it still comes.

misunderstandings

Because of this, war ensues. 

I'm a bloody hypocrite

It hurts me so bloody much! It hurts that I've been waiting for a long time for this,yet I didn't get to experience it.


Wonder what I'm talking about? it's about Pottermore.


It's this website, where all my fantasies and magical dreams can come true!!!!
(And I'm not joking. . . .  I'm serious this time. Which really rarely happens. ) But we were only given 7 days to register early,and you have to find the right time of the day, when it's open for registration. So now, I have to wait til October until the website's open for everyone. Iv'e been waiting for this since July!


The reason I didn't register early was because of the exams. Stupid, bloody, freaking, exams! But it also made me stop and think..... do I really need to register this early, or just wait? I knew that if I open the internet, I won't be able to stop. So, I did the good thing after all, even though it makes me sad.


And by the way, I'm a bloody hypocrite.
Why?     I keep on telling everyone that once they see a good opportunity, grab it! But... I didn't. hahaha