Judge.

I know, this isn't your problem. I also know that the world doesn't need to know about these problems of mine, But I'm tired of keeping it all bottled up inside.

Before you judge me, do you know what hell I'm living in? 

What things I go through everyday?

It's like a miracle that I haven't broken down in front of everybody and cried or gone wild.

however, I do admit, there are times that I went to school, crying, but before I step my foot inside the classroom I wipe it off and pretend everything's okay.

Do you know how long I've pretended?

Do you know how lonely I feel even if I smile everyday and had people around me?

I honestly can't wait to get out of this hell-hole, because no matter how difficult the situation I'm in, I'll always be judged. WE'LL always be Judged. It doesn't matter if you're at the point of breaking because there are still some people out there who Judge other people because of clothes, boyfriends and all those silly little things.

But what if I tell you that the person you are judging is going through Hell, would you care about it? what if his/her father is dying? his/her sister is dying? his/her mother is dying? would you care? at all?

I bet not.

When I'm finally able to let it all out and start to feel a little tinge of happiness in my soul, you still judged me. You said I was weak and you didn't care about the problems I went through because you have your own.

Well, I'll make sure to do the same to you when you're already at your breaking point.

Disney Princesses

(I know some of my classmates are sick of me ranting about her again, BUT I JUST CAN'T HELP IT! This is my blog anyway so I am free to write anything I want on this beautiful blog of mine. )

Pocahontas.

Ever since I was a little girl, she was my favorite Disney princess. I guess, there are some questions lingering at the back of your head right now, right? I bet, you're wondering why Mulan or Jasmine wasn't my favorite, even though they were Asians, and I am (obviously) Asian as well. Don't get me wrong, but I like Mulan and Jasmine as well. They weren't those type of princesses that just fell in love and got married and had many many many children and became unbelievably rich.

Pocahontas was the first ever Disney Princess that was based from Historical facts. She was actually real and her marriage with John Rolfe (not John Smith) was the first interracial marriage ever recorded. I mean, how cool is that?! But Disney kinda distorted the real events that happened and converted it into a love story instead.

Whenever I ask my friends and classmates if they like Pocahontas, they would say that she's fine. They don't hate her but they don't also love her either. I asked them why and some of them said she wasn't pretty enough or she wasn't that beautiful. Well, for me, when a person says "beautiful" we shouldn't stereotype them or just think immediately that a person who's super thin and blonde is already beautiful. A person's physical appearance doesn't make them ugly or beautiful.

And no offence to all the Cinderella/ Snow white fans out there, but honestly, what the heck did these two do? They just fell in love and Got married to complete strangers they barely even knew. Those guys might have been serial killers and they wouldn't even know! Real Princesses should have been able to make a difference to the world. Like Princess Diana!

Pocahontas made a difference for her people and her tribe. So did Mulan. She saved China. So did Jasmine, she got married to boy who didn't have anything but loved anyway.

So there. I just ranted because I felt like doing it.

(oh, and BTW, for me, Pocahontas looks a bit like a Filipina, so just by saying that she's ugly, You're actually saying that Filipinas are not good looking.)

Wounds

Well, a lot of people say that wounds heal with time. But what if, after you've healed, you get wounded again?

Well, that's what happened to my older sister, Francine, today. When she was in 5th grade, she and her friends were there, doing what normal grade-school students do, then it started to rain. So she ran. Unfortunately she lost her balance and tripped, causing her to scraped her knee on the rough ground and landed on her elbows, but... her cheek was scraped also.

Today, she tripped. Again. Why? because of the stupid reconstruction of the road that's currently happening. 

Here's what I wanna say

Lying is an art

Hmmm. I bet you're confused with my title there. Who in their right freakin' mind would say that Lying is an art?! Well folks, I would.When someone says "art" the words that pop in my head are associated with Theatre and Acting. You see, When you need to lie to someone, you need to act. You need to act opposite of what your heart/ your brain says.

If there was an award for being the best liar in the world, I'm sure I'd have that.When you need to lie, you have to think fast. Why? Well... Sometimes, People ask you questions that can leave you in a vulnerable position. So, you have to change the topic or whatever otherwise more lies would be added to your list of lies.When you lie, you don't need a script for that. All you need is a brain. You can't practice lying. It comes out naturally. When people ask me if I'm okay, even though I'm not, I say "I'm totally fine." and They don't even have second thoughts if it's true or not.

 When a person lies to you, you can't judge that person immediately. Maybe he/she has motives you wouldn't understand, or maybe it was for your own good. Just because a person lies frequently, that doesn't mean that person is entirely bad.

This is one of the reasons why I really like to act. For me, There's nothing wrong with playing pretend.

The internet is a drug

I have a confession to make. I'm addicted. I'm addicted to..... The Internet.

Well, The internet is great! Who wouldn't be addicted to it. Being addicted to the internet is WAY better than being addicted to drugs and other stuff.

No Boobs, No ass.

Someone once said to me: "I feel so sorry for you." I wondered why would this person say this to me?
so I asked, "Why?" that person replied: "Well, You don't have boobs, you also don't have a great ass."

I was shocked. I didn't even have the guts to think of a good statement to retort. Well, how could I? It was true anyway.

It's not that I don't like the person who said that to me. I actually like that person. I'm really glad that he/she said that to me. Why? because it really proved that sometimes, you don't have everything you want. So what if I don't have a Supermodels' body?! Heck, I could care less about that! I don't care about what food NOT to eat! I don't care how much calories this food contains! I care more about my test scores and how my friends and classmates think of me as a person.

Don't be deceived by what you see. Sometimes, there's more to a person than what meets the eyes.